-if you are paranoid, press 1 repeatedly, we ll trace your call
-if you are delusional
it doesn t matter which number you press noone will
Please try your call again later, -if you have a short term memory loss, -if you are dyslexic
-if you are dyslexic
Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline, -if you have a nervous disorder
it doesn t matter which number you press noone will
listen carefully and a small voice will tell you
-and if you have no self-esteem
-if you are depressive, which number to press Hotline, what you want
-if you are paranoid, it doesn t matter which number you press noone will
After the beep please wait for the beep, press 1 repeatedly, -if you are delusional
-if you are delusional, -if you have a short term memory loss
We ll trace your call, -if you are dyslexic
Ask someone to press 2 for you, pres 3 4 5 6 Buddha, after the beep please wait for the beep
-if you have a nervous disorder, which number to press
-if you are paranoid, it doesn t matter which number you press noone will Mental, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
stay on the line and
we know what you are
Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline, -if you are dyslexic, -if you are schizophrenic
"If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy."
Wow, that was a fucking lot to write :D
" If you are Obsessive- Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.If you are co- dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.If you are Depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you.If you are dyslexic, press 69696969.If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until the beep after the beep, please wait for the beep.If you have short-term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self-esteem, hang up, all operators are too busy to talk to you."
Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn’t matter which button you press. No one will answer you.
If you are dyslexic, press 69696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.
If you have low self esteem, hang up. All our representatives are busy.
If you are reading this, you have been in a coma for almost 2 years. We are trying this new technique but we do not know where this message will end up in your dream. We just hope you will somehow get it. Please wake up.